Today’s column

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The comments and emails on this have been interesting.

Some folks feeling very protective of Mr. Merlot.

We talked about this Friday on The Nose.

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2 thoughts on “Today’s column

  1. Hmm?

    How can you say that Speaker Boehner lowered the bar? Nancy Pelosi left the bar on the floor after presiding over the recession and saying utter nonsense such as “you have to pass the bill to see what’s in it”?

  2. Bill

    Not so fast, Senior McEnroe. I happen to think those three words are a wonderful combination of a command to offer. For sure, they should not be used often least they lose the theatrical effect. I long ago forgot when I first heard that short sweet commission. I think I first heard it when I was a little bitty child when the neighborhood milkman confronted the fruit peddler. And it was probably a political disagreement.

    I used the phrase last year for the first time in years. I had rented a van and when I returned it, the U Haul employee walked over to me in the yard with a computing devise and asked me to stay in the van and turn the windshield wipers on. Then he asked me to hit the break lights. Then he was about to ask me to perform another check when I exited the van and stopped the checks. I told him he didn’t check these things when I took the van. He then told me I might be charged with anything that wasn’t working if I didn’t return to the van to complete the inspection. That is when I unleashed my favorite three words.

    I looked at him square in the eyes and said,”go fuck yourself.” In fact, that felt so good that I repeated it verbatim. By that time, I was in a creative state of mind and I invited him to also “go fuck the tired-ass jackass you road in on this morning” as I headed to the office to drop off the keys and pay. By that time, I was feeling so complete as a human who answered the call of perfect communication.

    As I drove home that day, I repeated it a few more times outloud to myself. It was sorta like an encore to myself.

    Later I repeated the incident to a few friends. And yes, I mimicked myself and I wound up feeling good all over again.

    Colin, there is a time and place to levy this salvo. It is what differentiates us from the chimpanzee. The chimp cannot, in all of his branch slapping ground dance to breed fear into a rival, approach the share poetic drama of those three words.

    May I invite you to give them a heave at an appropriate time and place. It will make you feel like King Kong while behaving in polite society.

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